Monday, March 7, 2011

Responding to Men's excuse for not wearing a condom

We have heard all types of reasons why men don’t want to wear CONDOMS. But, by not using them, your safety is at risk. Using condoms every time you have sex offers the best protection from catching an STD, including HIV . It is even suggested to use a condom if on The Pill (or other prescription method). If a man says that he is “too large” to fit into a condom, open one up, put your hands together (like you’re clapping), roll the condom over your hands, then spread them apart about 12 inches wide – ask him if he is bigger than that!
Some excuses men give and responses you can use.

1.        If he says: "It ruins the mood."
Your response: "Having unsafe sex puts me out of the mood. For good!"

2.        If his excuse is: "A condom spoils my enjoyment of sex.”
Your response: “I can't enjoy sex unless we’re protected.”

3.        If he says: "If you really love me, you should trust me."
Your response: “It is because I love you that I want to be sure we’re both protected.”
4.        If he complains: "I can’t feel anything when I’m wearing a condom.”
Your  response: “Many condoms have extra features to actually make sex better, and that you will both be better able to relax knowing you are safeguarding yourselves against STD’s and unintended pregnancy. Plus, men can actually experience more pleasure with a ribbed condom than without one at all.” 
5.        If he says: "Condoms don’t really work; most of them get busted."
Your response: "If we use it the right way, its 98% effective"

6.        If his excuse is: "Wearing a condom is uncomfortable."
Your  response: Suggest a different condom brand or size
Or, if you are feeling a bit feisty, you could come back with, "Yes, and so is being pregnant for 9 months and then having to give birth."
7.        If he says: "Don’t tell me that you actually think you’ll catch something from me."
Your response: "I’m sure I won’t, but it's better to be safe than sorry."
8.        If his objection is: “But you’re on the pill.”
Your response: "The Pill won’t protect us from STD’s that we may not even know we have – a condom will give us that protection.”

9.        If he insists: “But we’ve had sex without a condom before.”
Your response: “That that was a bad decision, and I don’t want to make it again. We were lucky, and I am not chancing it again.”
10.     If his excuse is: "I don't know how to use a condom the right way."
Your response: "I’ll do it for you."
To convince him even further, use your mouth!
How to put a condom on with your mouth?
1.        Don’t be afraid to ask your partner to use a condom (Tips : keep one handy - buy one at Condom Bazaar) because you think he won’t trust you. If this is so, then it may mean that you don’t trust him enough to ask him to use a condom.
To be honest with you, talking about birth control may be difficult, but it is important (if you are in a serious relationship) to make these decisions together. If you are feeling that you cannot talk to your partner about contraception, sexually transmitted diseases, and sexual histories, then you should rethink if you are ready for a sexual relationship with this person.
2.        Remember, there are many reasons to use a condom. Learn all of the ways a condom can protect both of you, so you can remind him (and yourself) of why you should use a condom every time you have sexual intercourse. Don’t let your partner’s excuses stop you from protecting yourselves.
3.        Read these ways of how you can respond to your partner. If it will make you feel more prepared, rehearse them; then, you can be ready to challenge him if he gives you an excuse for not wanting to wear a condom.
4.        Remind yourself that asking someone to use a condom shows that you have respect for yourself and for them, so refuse to have sex with someone who does not respect you or themselves enough to use protection.
Make it clear – no condom, no sex!

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